I once tried to end everything by commiting suicide - ate 374 pills and blacked out.
Even though I say that I'm not thankful for my family for saving me, I am. I was really scared that night. I was crying, thinking "What if it will really be the end? What if no one will save me?" I was hoping someone would. I wished for that. And my wish came true. Even though I say my family doesn't care about me, they do. If they didn't, they would've let me die, would've let me die suffering, crying. But... I am still trying to end this, because of a person. Because of him.
Why is it that when you want attention you don't get it, but when you don't need it, everyone starts to stick to you, care about you? It's so annoying. I hate when this happens. That's why I always lie about my feelings. I always lie, just to get rid of the annoying hugs and kisses and their caring. I hate when everyone loves me so much. I just hate it. I hate it.
Why is it that when I am crying, no one notices me? They just laugh or ignore my feelings. Why is it that when I tell someone something sad about me, they say "Poor you!" and hug, kiss, or start caring about me? It's too late anyway, to do that. I hate when those belated "Poor you"s come. I hate it when they hug me and say that everything's alright. I feel like a baby. Like a crybaby. Like someone who can't protect himself.